Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
