Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
