if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
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There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
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We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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