So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Even my vagina gasped.
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He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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