hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
