we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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