"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
