I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
