Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Use "feeling words"
Yay
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How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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