Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
