so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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