yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
