Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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