Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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