you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize