You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
