I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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