i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
