i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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