Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
