I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
