is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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