You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
