Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
