I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
