Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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