well I can't set my house on fire every night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
