whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
