allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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