i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize