New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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