Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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