I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
