4 words: hood of his car
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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