cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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