Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
