Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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