Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
