Whoa Z and x make the same sound
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
