there's paper in my vomit.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
