When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
