Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
