also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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