If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
