So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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