but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
