i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
