Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
