What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
