I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
