NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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