i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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