CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
