I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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