Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize