You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
