Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My first STD was from a foam party
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
