So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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