Soap is not a condiment
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
In other news, I just burned my penis
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
