Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
