I look better un-naked...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
should my penis look like a turkey
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
