he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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