just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
