your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
