9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
