found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
